Monday, 30 July 2012
Today it's time to let you guys know eight of my deepest and darkest fears!! Well, I'm gonna warn you now I have some very weird fears and phobias so please don't judge me!!
1. When walking along a path that's next to a road, I refuse to walk on the side nearest to the road. I hate it. I'm so scared I'm gonna trip or I'm going to get pushed into the road, fall over and smash my face. I think this stems from when my friend did this when we were about 8 and it's scared me ever since!!
2. Closing the blinds when it's dark outside. When I was about 9 or 10, I watched the Silence of the Lambs, and since then I hate going to my window when it's dark outside because I'm scared Anthony Hopkin's face is going to be stood there staring at me. Weird I know, but it gets me everytime. I may be the only person who closes the blinds at 6pm haha!!
3. I have a compulsive need for people to like me. It kills me to think anyone has something bad to say about me, or that I haven't done enough for someone to think I'm a nice person. I'm so scared they won't like me, and it used to really get to me. Luckily thanks to my boyfriend, I've become a lot more confident, realising that if they don't like me for me, screw them (however I'll be the best me they've ever met)!!
4. Ageing. I know every woman says she's scared of getting old, but I really do. I have break downs every year just before my birthday, fearing I look older. My Mam joked about me having crows feet and I didn't leave the house for a week. I know ageing happens, and I should embrace it as it comes with so many rewards, but I still don't feel ready to be a grown up yet.
5. I wanna say creepy crawlies, but it's the fast son of a bitches that scare me, not the creepy ones!! Seeing a spider just sat on the wall, or moseying about doesn't really bother me. I know that if I wanted to catch it, I could and that's that. The whole 'He's more scared of you than you're scared of him' philosophy and all that. BUT the fast ones that can sprint quicker than Usain Bolt, now they're the ones I worry about. I'm scared I'll be in bed then all of a sudden their ninja spider asses will be there beside me :(
6. Losing someone close to me. When I was younger, my Mam had cancer, and at the same time her best friend had it too. Unfortunately, her best friend passed away and it terrified me from then the thought of losing her. I used to have nightmares that a dog called cancer would eat my Mam, and I didn't sleep for weeks. Since then I always ensure I tell every person I love that I do, every single day. I tell my parents every morning and night, and tell my boyfriend about ten times a day. Just because, you never know when it could be the last time.
7. Failure. I think it's a pretty obvious one. The feeling you're never going to be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough or the best at everything. Disappointing the important people in your life is terrifying, and is the worst feeling in the world.
8. Last but not least, my weirdest phobia is peas. Yes that's right, the little green vegetables!! I don't know why, but all of a sudden the sight of them made me have panic attacks. Sometimes when I've ordered something without peas, and they forget and bring it with peas, I tell people I'm allergic so they don't think I'm a complete idiot. And no, I don't simply allow them to scrape them off the plate, I need my food on a new plate, and if I saw the peas really touch some of my food I'll not eat it. I know I'm totally loco but, so what, it's quirky right???
So you all still like me yeah??? haha xxx